Hello, lake! On the lakeshore stays burned boat. It can be seen, that somebody wanted to have something to warm up. Stub-born anglers stay in the water to the knees and pretend to fish. Richer persons buy prepared fish in the houses of native people. Wind and waves cleaned from the dirt light yellow sand of going further beach. And small flocks of baby fishes on the shallow are good visible. It is pretty cold yet, but a lot of different cars will fill up the beach soon. They will make terrible loud music and water motorcycles will break the mir-ror of the lake, until the night disturbs the ears with the loud of the motors. But now . . . now over the ancient black Ladoga stays incredible silence.
As older get people, as less they like to have a rest. "As running waters turned to standing waters get spoiled, exactly the same way the soil and the body of the person spoil from the idleness". ("The spiritual flower bed")
I must say, that I don't have much trust to the letters from the prison. The disposition to evil and intolerable life conditions force prisoners to do many bad things. But some-times it is impossible not to respond. Here is a letter from one life prisoner, he writes frank, without falsehood: "We are 4 people in one cell, we are not allowed to go out. We don't have any job and we don't know, if we will have one. We have just one comfort - to write letters, and just if we have enve-lope, paper and pen. . . And if we don't have it, then we just sit here without any business: it is a prison indeed. I have orthodox Bible. It is very dear to me. I repaired old prayer book and I have a small book "From the manuscripts of Holy Feofan"- "Gold spangles", just 30 pages but it always helps me. We never had here orthodox literature, just protestant and Jehovah's witnesses magazines. My cell neighbors are believ-ers, but one of them don't honor icons, and other think that the sign of cross is just empty hand move. But I believe, that they will come to God. Even though I am in prison, I fell God's comfort, I don't lie you. I don't understand many things, but God opens me them. I sin in thoughts, but I fight it. This fight is difficult to me, but I do it as I can. For the sake of God, send me please old newspapers and one enve-lope, that I can thank you.
With prayer, unworthy slave Gena". We will send you news-papers, Gena; but maybe brothers and sisters, we will pray for God's slave? We pray not enough for prisoners. . .
"Lord Jesus Christ, our God, You release Your holy apostle Peter from prison without any harm. We beg you with humility, accept this prayer kindly to forgiveness the sins of your slave, Gennadij, who came into the prison. And as a God, who loves people, with Your omnipotent right hand deliver him from all evil and bring to the freedom. Amen".
I hung up in the small room in our summer cottage photos of my mother, father, daughter, spiritual father and the photo of myself together with nun Olga at the branch of Holy-Presentation Ivanov monastery. I liked this photo and nun Olga has pleasant face. But my wife was against it: she didn't like my look on this photo. First, I object it, then I thought about it and decided that my wife had to know better, may be in this moment I really had bad thought. And I had to put the photo with nun away. . .
"Can the island, that lie in the middle of the see stop the waves and do so, that they will not hit him? - At least the island can object the waves. And so we can't stop the thoughts, but we can object them". (Reverend Efrem Sirin.)
Christian vocabulary is popular now. "Already today - write the central city newspaper,- the passage through quay of Neva turn into solid Golgotha for car drivers". Who dare to compare holy and terrible place of Calvary Savior of the world with common inconveniences of people who are big sinners! To compare immeasurable voluntary sufferings of Son of Man with bad streets? . . "Who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for right-eousness"(1Peter 2,24). "For the message of the cross is fool-ishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God" (1Corinth. 1,18).
May be you already remember the time of the beginning of 90th, when the air of seeming freedom mixed up with the fear about the future. At this time, I worked in one of the first regional newspapers of the city "Bulletin of Viborgskij dis-trict" and wrote about different esoteric bad things. Do you remember that the faces of the people of that time were anx-ious anew? All were compressed as a spring? Once I went to-gether with the editor to metro station "Lesnaja" and not far from us stopped dusty from the long way truck. "How can I drive to a certain place?" - asked driver. He drove the truck from Karelia and his snub-nosed face radiates the great kind-ness. And his eyes smiled tender entirely unknown people. Then I thought: "And why I am not affable and gloomy?". . . The driver drove away, after we gave him directions. And I always hope to meet in the crowd his opened face. . . "The person who knows God is kind and if he is not kind, it means, that he doesn't know God and God will never knows him, because the sole way to know God is kindness". (Reverend Antonij the Great.)
In metro hangs the advertising of sausage products: "Hap-piness exist, it is unable not to eat". (to exist and to eat is the same word in Russian - from the translator). And as an illustration is round, glossy from the fat face - the image and likeness of the God. . . This world is hostile not just to us, orthodox people; it is hostile to itself. Gluttony didn't bring happiness to anyone.
"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life" (Gal.6,7,8.)
I read by archimandrite Rafael (Karelin): "Metaphysical understanding of sin: the content of the human soul produce thin radiance, that are inaccessible for our senses, but that are perceptible for our spirit. From sinner comes special stench, from that averts men's spirit, even the spirit of ex-actly the same sinner." Now it is plain, why sometimes we fell so bad inside when two people meet each other. Not in vain the folk says: "my soul is uncomfortable with him", "my spirit can't endure him" and so on.
Alexander RAKOV